I should be cleaning...

I feel spent.  Worn out.  Done.  I'm fine, don't get me wrong.  I got enough sleep, my daughter is amazing, my husband is loving but I am just at that point where I'm mentally tired.  Which is why I am not cleaning.  It shouldn't be a taxing thing, to figure out where that box of cake mix actually goes, but I just can't do it right now.  I don't care.  The cake mix can sit on the top of the refrigerator until I decide to make the thing (which is probably a bad example because that would end up sooner rather than later I'd guess).  Ugh.  I really wish I could pack up my entire house in boxes (except maybe the baby's room) and start over again.  This time I'd invite my mom over to help, she's a whiz.  In all my life, in every house I can remember EVERYTHING had a place.  If I wanted batteries, I knew which drawer...toilet paper was stocked and in the same spot...and there was a well organized pantry.  I really should call my mom and thank her.  :)

Today was good.  I had a staff meeting this afternoon and we started with "what is God saying to you" rather than "whats on your list".  I think it's important to remember its a ministry first and a job second.  It was a nice change of pace - I feel like it set the tone for the meeting.  And then instead of coming home tired like I usually do I banged out two fairly large projects in a rather small amount of time!  Ahh, joy. 

We got our pictures done!  I need to post them all on here - but I haven't done that yet :)  They turned out ok - I don't know if I'm just picky about pictures but I don't love them.  There is one of Grace that is awesome, but that's about it.  Ah well.  One of these days I'll find a studio I love.  :) 

We are starting another round of Princesses here in a couple weeks.  It should be pretty interesting.  The book we're doing is more about sex and makes me blush but hopefully it'll have information that is good for these girls - and I do think it is appropriate for the entire group.  I think we have 6 girls right now.  I like it.

Alrighty, I think I am going to tackle my office tonight because I'm sick of being in here with it crazy.  I have this wacky idea that if I just manage to straighten it all up I'll be much more productive.  I'm not sure how true that is, but I suppose it's worth a shot.  Although really, the idea of cleaning it is once again overwhelming and makes me really not excited.  Maybe I'll find an online game to play instead :)

Miss ya girl!

What a week!

It's weeks like this that I wish I could lock myself in my room for a day and not come out...but then who would take care of my little one and would I really want to miss an entire day of her sweet face?  I think not.  It has been a rough week in my world - car issues that seem overwhelming, I haven't been feeling good (we're going to test tomorrow...might be too soon...or I might be crazy), its been a hard communication week in marriage and as always I have a pile of things that all need attention right now.  But "Jesus is my portion, a constant friend is He.  His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me." 

I have a friend who has "Thankful Thursday" blogs - so here goes...

1) I have amazing friends who rally around me when I need support and who will rejoice with me over the little things.

2) I have a beautiful little girl who makes me smile with her smile.

3) I have a surprise baby shower to look forward to this weekend...because babies are fun to celebrate.

4) My house WILL get cleaner this weekend and that is a good thing.

5) I got to help make a difference to someone today.

6) Applesauce.

7) I have some projects for the weekend I am really looking forward to.

It's weeks like these that I'm thankful for my friends and family and as I look around at the craziness of the world, I realize that I have it pretty darn good.  I'm hoping tomorrow shots will go ok for Grace and hopefully she will get some rest (and this momma will get some work done).  We shall see.  I'm trying to get some work done now - it's not going very well.  I am making a baby shower cake for Sunday and am too busy looking at ideas :)  Ah well, it'll all get done right?

I sing because

Today we got bad news about the car - on a best/worst case scenario scale we definitely got the worst of the worst (ok, it could probably actually be worse but it doesn't feel like it right now.)  But then I'm reminded of the song...

Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart feel lonely
And long for Heav'n and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
A constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches over me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Refrain:
I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me
(His Eye Is On The Sparrow)

Missed a day...

...on purpose.  I figure if I'm going to do this blog thing I can't let it run my life, so I skipped a day :)  Yesterday, well, the whole weekend was amazing.  Friday night I honestly don't remember...I think I counted bingo tickets.  Saturday I got up and went to the farmer's market, the orchard and a couple stores with my mom.  Then I made applesauce...and more applesauce...and more applesauce.  18 quarts so far and I'm only 2/3 of the way done.  It was awesome.  I want to be one of those moms that does stuff like that...and it tastes SO much better than store bought.  Oh, that's what I did Friday night - I made some chunky applesauce for my dad real quick so that he wouldn't get suspicious why I asked what kind he likes! :)

I've discovered that I want to help people.  Especially kids - I love my kid so much I feel like I need to make sure all kids feel loved.  For right now that will consist more of teens then of kids but one day, one day I hope to work with kids.  We shall see!  I was reading 1 Timothy today and was reminded that I serve a living God - He is at work all around me so I will watch for opportunites to be invited to work alongside Him with whomever He sees fit.

I feel like I've matured lately...I think knowing that my daughter is going to watch and mimic me I want to make sure I'm the person I want her to be...if that makes sense.  I can definitely feel some of my rough edges chipping away and flaws I ignore getting the spotlight.  It's a tough process but one I am grateful for.

I need to get to work - Mondays are always slightly overwhelming with the amount of things to get done quickly, but we'll make it happen! :)

A clean kitchen...

If I had to choose one thing that had to be done before I went to bed each day it would be that my kitchen would be clean.  I feel like the kitchen is the heartbeat of the house - meals are time together, baking is to be shared and it all flows from the kitchen.  It doesn't matter where the meal is eaten or where the cookies are devoured, they all start at the same place. Baking is an excuse to get together with friends, a way to give a little piece of me and something that says "hey, here is your big hug for the day." 

Today I am done with one of three boxes of apples.  I don't plan on really sharing this blog anytime soon so it can be known that it is for applesauce and apple butter.  I don't want to get stressed out for Christmas about buying the right thing at the right price - if I see it, fine...if not I'm going to invest my time making the right thing for the right person and not worrying about it.  Why?  Because it isn't about what I spend on them or really what the gift is - it's about knowing that person and finding something they will love.

Today I feel like I can conquer the world although it makes me sad when my friends hurt and I can't do anything to help.  Since my darling daughter decided to stay awake last night from 2:30-4:30 I'm going to go to bed very soon.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a delightful family day.

Three Things I Love To Bake (other than cake):
1) Cream Puffs
2) Crepes
3) Cookies

C is for cookie, that's good enough for me!  :D

It's the little things...

Today I'm reminded to stop and smell the roses...or at least stop and smell the outdoors :)  I usually stay home during the day simply because if I miss nap time, I miss work time.  But today we went to the park and played, and visited, and laughed and it felt good.  I think this will be the hardest year as far as balancing the baby and life - mainly because she requires constant supervision.  I'm hoping that as she grows up it'll get easier (but lets face it, I'm also hoping for more babies so who knows how that will all work out!). 

I love that face.  This weekend I want to get my house clean...again.  I think that is what I say every weekend.  I think it would be very nice to pack up everything I own and then re-move in.  I feel like I could clear up a lot of clutter that way.  Perhaps not - but it seems like it would help.  This weekend for sure: laundry, kitchen, and baby's room.  I am also going to make lots and lots of applesauce.  :) 

Three Things That Make Me Smile:
1) My family and friends (so that's a lot more than three, but it's my blog so I'll do what I want!)
2) Applesauce :)
3) Organization or at least the appearance of!

Inspiration

Today I was reminded that if I don't make the time to spend with friends it will never happen.  That casual "lets get together" is usually a nice way of saying "I intend to invest in our relationship if you'd be so good as to remind me."  I need to make sure that I make definite plans...even if they need to be changed at least it is more tangible. 

I'm inspired by my friends and family.  I love watching other people and seeing how they don't wait for life to prompt them to go out and do something - they just go out and do it.  Whether it is figuring out how to home school their kids, arranging a trip to an apple orchard, move to a brand new city to pursue a dream or deciding that today is the day to declutter the entire house.  This weekend, I am doing a major project on Saturday...and I can't tell you what it is because it is a surprise for someone :)

Three Goals For The Next Month:
1. Take more pictures and actually do something with them.
2. Make plans with friends.
3. Work during nap time, after bedtime and when other people are watching her and use that awake time to enjoy my daughter, not to stress about all that is not getting done.