I feel like lately God has been talking to me. And not in that sweet "Good work, keep it up" kind of way but in that "things are about to get real" kind of way. I have this vision in my head of what things should look like and how they should be. Why doesn't that ever translate to real life? I think God has been very clear that I need to put down my expectations and pick up His. Through some very 'random' and unconnected events I feel like I have gotten some reminders of why I am where I am in this life.
That being said, there are things that I need to do to make it better. I need to make it through the day without losing my patience. And I need to get rid of distractions that keep me from all I should be doing. I need to stop focusing on the material and focus on the heart. I need to be willing to say GO FOR IT instead of being cautious. I need to step out in faith instead of waiting for faith to come to me.
That being said, did ya'll know I am on a mission? Seriously. My heart breaks for kids who do not feel love and most of the time we think of orphans and my heart seriously breaks for them, but my mission field right now is teenagers. In Ohio. And you know what, I need to love them with all I've got! I am so pumped to work with this amazing group of young women on Monday nights. All from different backgrounds, some loved completely, others still sorting it out. They are amazing. They make my heart beat.
I wish I could always remember my focus and my passion. I wish my heart wasn't so easily distracted and swayed. But friends, let me tell you, I adore them. These are the girls that are forever a part of my family because I MEAN it when I tell them...
We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.
(1 Thessalonians 2:8)
And that can get messy and hard and complicated, but so worth it.