Tuesday, January 17, 2012

5 Minutes: Positive or Negative?

I've decided when I have nothing that I really want to say but still want to write I'll just do a "five minute" post on whatever happens to be rolling around in my brain.  Today it is positive vs negative correction.

I've been thinking lately about how I correct Grace's behavior, how I prefer my behavior to be corrected and how other people around me respond to correction.  Grace is probably the easiest to give examples of...

We don't hit.  vs We use gentle touches.

We don't yell.  vs We use our quiet voices.

We don't take away toys.  vs. We share with our sister.

We don't say NO.  vs We obey mommy and daddy.

We don't throw the ball.  vs. We roll the ball inside the house.

It seems so simple but I feel like when we give her negative correction (and I mean that only in the sense of it is framed in a negative sentence structure, not that it is inherently negative) she still only hears the action.  We hit, We yell, We throw, etc.  If I give her a positive correction I feel like she hears and responds to the actions that I want her to take.  We share, We obey, We roll.

I, being an adult, am able to separate out and hear what is not desired from negative correction, but I prefer to be given a replacement behavior as well.  Maybe instead of "Don't make this dinner ever again because it STINKS." something like "I'm not a huge fan of this dinner.  I like chicken better when it is grilled."  (Ok, simple and stupid example...and my husband would never say anything I cooked stinks but you get the idea...)
Just something I've been thinking about lately.  I think people respond better when we are positive, even if it is correctional in nature. 



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1 comment:

  1. I haven't checked your posts in a few days, but I love that you added the Recent Deal... Love it!

    And for what its worth, I hate being corrected at all, but when its necessary, I'd much prefer the positive correction :)