Monday, June 13, 2011

Confession Time.

I have had two run-ins with the evil jealousy monster this week.  I HATE IT!  In my head I'm going ME ME ME, MINE MINE MINE but deep in my heart I know that I have everything I need and am already blessed with so much more.  What is it about humans that see something someone else has been blessed with and instead of thinking "that's awesome" we think "what about me?!?".  Frustrating!

I had a long chat with hubs last night about all the wonderful things in our life.  We sat on the porch with a steak grilling and just talked.  It was delightful.  Here are some things that I would not change for all the money or things in the world...

1) I have an amazing husband who loves me and loves the Lord.
2) I have an amazing little girl who is a joy in my life and keeps me grounded :)
3) I have an amazing little girl growing inside of me that I get to meet in just a few weeks!
4) All of our baby "needs" have been provided for by family, friends and garage sales!
5) My family is amazing and loving.  They don't judge my house, my parenting, my lifestyle (OK, they think not being on birth control ever is weird, but whatever!), my friends or my faith.  In fact, they support the vast majority of it.
6) I have everything I NEED.  Not necessarily everything I want, but I couldn't tell you the last time I was forced to skip a meal or be under dressed for the weather because I couldn't afford it.
7) I get to spend my days with my kid, have a full time job and be a homemaker.  (I know, all the same things I sometimes complain about because it CAN be overwhelming).
8) I am blessed with friends that surprise me with little joys.  Everything from my caramel apple parfait from hubs to getting to go see a speaker/write who I LOVE, to a note of encouragement that I keep tucked in my Bible for the days I get discouraged.
9) My house is comfortable and fits our needs where we are now.  I still say I can get at least four kids in the one bedroom before we'd need to seriously consider changes :)
10) A husband who is willing to gently point me toward the important things such as focusing on the joy of where we are and not trying to hold on to the past or the unimportant.  (I am SO not ready to admit my little girl could be ready to move to a big kid bed and out of her crib!)

I hate jealousy and how it can wreak havoc on my heart.  I love that when I confess my jealousy He is faithful to fill me with joy in who I am, where I am and what I am in Him.


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