Sunday, May 15, 2011

My hopes.

I was going to call this my hopes and fears but realized hopes sounds more positive and fears can easily be rewritten as hopes :)

I hope that I get my days figured out.  I have no idea how I'm going to have my munchkin, my newborn and still work 40 hours a week from home.  It will get done - I may never sleep - but it will get done.

I hope I am able to get enough info about homeschooling to get my husband to consider it.  This may not be a problem, we have never actually had a real conversation about it.  Go back to hope 1 though - how would I fit homeschooling in too?!? (Good thing I have two years to figure it out)

I hope I don't ever lose focus on the Lord.  It is soooo easy to get distracted by everything else but I know the best thing for me to do in the morning is spend time with Him, to follow through during the day and to end the night with a good long prayer.  :)

I hope I figure out how to keep my kitchen floor clean.  Kind of a lame one I know - but I have NO idea how my floor gets so dirty EVERY DAY! 

I hope I figure out how to keep my wits about me.  I'm not a good arguer.  I usually get really defensive or really angry so I can't express myself (when it's a BIG deal, not in the little things).  I hope as I get older I figure it out.

I hope I figure out how to be ME without having to try to be everyone else.  Sure, I am very similar to some of my extremist friends (thanks mom) but I'm not them - they do some things better than me.  I possibly do some things better than them...that's why God gave us friends I think.

Speaking of my extremist tendencies - I hope I figure out which battles are important to fight and which ones I should let slide.  I think I'll get it but I don't want my kid to end up hating me over the stuff that isn't really that important.  Will staying out that extra half hour kill her?  Probably not.  Will I kill a boy I catch in her bedroom (or alone with her in any private, unapproved places)?  Absolutely.

I have more I'm sure.  I feel like I'm in an introspective funk right now where I am just caught up in feeling like I need to go on a self-improvement binge.  Not a pity party, just a pregnant woman's hormonal take on the world around her.  At least I haven't called my mom crying at all this pregnancy about how one day this kid is going to have to come out and who thought THAT was a good idea :)


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